War or Peace?

War. What is it good for? I don't know. Anyway, my song about Irish Independence will not be included on the new IML album. The reasons are complex, but primarily I was unable to reach an accord with the writers of the backing track as to the subject matter. This is unfortunate, but I understand. As an alternative I have created new lyrics for a song now titled "Feel No Peace". Simply put, it is a song about depression and how sometimes a person can suddenly lose control of his or her reactions without even realizing what's happening. I suffer from depression of the unipolar kind and for this I receive medication. I've been on anti-depressant medication contintually since August 2005. I seem to be one of these people for whom long term treatment is the prognosis.

Normally the pills help to keep me on a fairly even keel, but every once in a while just occasionally something happens which upsets the balance. Or some things happen simultaneously. And in moments of particular stress a different person is unveiled. This different person looks and sounds just like me, but he doesn't act like me at all. Although he is not violent, he is scarily self righteous in the face of some perceived slight. He is irrational. He is capable of startling his friends and loved ones with sudden bursts of anger. And unfortunately when this is about to happen, he doesn't warn me. It often takes me several hours to come back to my senses and observe the car crash.

And of course when I say "he" I realize that he is me and that I must take responsibility for what happens. Once I forgot to take a pill before bed and the next day because of a stressful event at work I had an episode that resulted in the loss of my job. I'm always sorry when this happens, and fortunately now it very rarely does. But it did happen today. So here's my song (uploaded to the file share for the perusal of the group). I hope you like it better than the last one. ;-)    And I'm sorry, guys. Really.